I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
