but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
