I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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