AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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