Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
