This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
