This is not my ceiling
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
