the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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