Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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