I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
