Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
bring money and cleavage
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
