they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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