actually, I'm a sock model
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
two words...techno handjob
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
