Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There r osticjed everywhere
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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