so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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