Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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