before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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