I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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