you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
