that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
