dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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