in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
