my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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