I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
