Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Your cock deserves a montage
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
