I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
