So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
