I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
