He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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