just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
