They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
