My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
