there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this will be a night to untag.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
