I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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