I heard we made out
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
