All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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