I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't deserve a penis
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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