paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
