Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
