I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
