Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
try to milk me bitch
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
