You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
