can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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