Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
