Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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