is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
