doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
