butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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