I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
