Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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