NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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