talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
