I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We are two peas in an std pod
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
