I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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