did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She bit a glass in half.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
