yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
