Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
