Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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