i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
