We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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