I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
