I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
